[ The feared firsts ]

I believe anyone would want to be the first. Highest marks in school, best performance in workplace, the first to get hold of the coolest gadget of the year, the most impressive one to strut his/ her stuff at a party. All these are what most of us strive for, regardless of the price to pay, for the sake of our almighty ego. Hey, I am not saying this is wrong. Humans are hungry for recognition and sense of belonging and love. Just for your information, they are listed quite high up in Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.

However, there are certain firsts that most of us may not even dare to approach. The first to answer an open-ended question in class, the first time of going for a job interview, the first time trying out a novel food in an exotic restaurant which the name we cannot even pronounce, the first time riding a roller coaster. At the end of the day these horrors will narrow down to the fear of stepping out of our comfort zone. We are just too scared to get hurt or disadvantaged along the way once we become adventurous, but often the getting-out-of-comfort-zone actions we take make us grow beyond the fear itself.

Once I hated the idea of doing things alone. I guess it was the unnecessary worry of others’ delusional perceptions about me when I ate alone in the food court or when I shopped by myself in a department store. The first time I did those things I felt that all pairs of eyes in my surrounding were staring and mocking at me for being lonely. I felt awful. Mind you, now I keep telling myself two things whenever I have to be outside by myself. Firstly, you cannot please everyone and need not always bother about what others think of you. Secondly, being alone does not mean being lonely. The result is I feel good about myself being independent and have fewer burdens to match up to others’ expectations of what I should be/ who I should be with.

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear – not absence of fear ~Mark Twain

Courage is simply the willingness to be afraid and act anyway ~Dr. Robert Anthony

I still have that fear or some other fears sometimes (but less intense than the first time), it is not that these nasty feelings will vanish eternally once we act on them. They are simply being subdued when we confront them. All in all, acknowledge your terror, act on it, and you will become a courageous man/ woman that will earn yourself self-respect and even respect from others as a bonus incentive. It only takes a transformation in our mindset to be able to do things we never thought we could!

Do you have any story about conquering fear in your life? Please share!



2 thoughts on “[ The feared firsts ]

  1. It’s funny but when i do something myself, i am often choked up in fear, but if i do something for others, all my fear subsides. I have never felt any fear while standing up and speaking out for others, but I often regress when it comes to standing up for myself. Weird.

    • Hey, thank you for sharing! :)

      I guess when you do something for others, you are more occupied by the objective/ task that you have in mind to achieve for others rather than what other people might think about you doing something alone for yourself.

      Anyway, good luck with the journey of overcoming your fear :)

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