[ I’m the worst ]

Your own thoughts are your worst enemy, especially when you are in an emotional and mental battle with yourself. Everything around you seems dim and doomed. Nothing ever seems to get right whenever you are involved. Everyone else, even your pet, seems to be in a better position than you are.

I am not here to discourage you, to ruin your already-so-blue Monday, or to tip you off your edge of depression. It is all in your mind. You form your own perception of how the world is looking at you and judging you according to how you dress, how you act and respond to situations, how you think. Even the slightest stare from people at my shoes freaks me out into thinking I have had a fashion disaster. I have had sleepless nights as I ‘replayed’ the day’s activities and regretted that I should or should not have said or done certain things to certain people at certain events. Sometimes I shy away from discussions and arguments because I am scared of being ignored and rejected. Why do we do that?


Source: tumblr


I do not know. I have been there. I have done that but I am past that. It is not that I never think the worst of myself anymore. The trains of negative thoughts are like unstoppable locomotives that just dash through even though the railway tracks have been switched to another direction. However, it is in our willpower to keep monitoring those trains so that they do not get sidetracked.

You have to want to change!
You have to ignore others’ expectations of you! We live for ourselves, don’t we?
You have to let go of the past mistakes!
You have to live your present moment to the fullest! As cliché as it sounds, you should do!
You have to pull yourself together and keep trying! Failures will come, mind you.
You have to overpower your negative thoughts and take control! Think positive thoughts!
You have to win others to your positivities!
You have to express your gratitude for simply being alive every single day!
You have to repeat the above-mentioned points till you get it!

There you have it, willpower!

I cannot guarantee the success, though. What if my pair of shoes is really an eyesore? What if I have done something really terrible and that person hates me for who I am? What if it’s just the way I am wired and no power is able to change it? What if the people around me really think the way I think they are thinking? What if I have so many what-ifs along the way?

Gosh, negative thoughts! Easier said than done. I’m the worst.






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